Inuyasha on Dope
by blondevil
Summary: What happens to our favorite demonic characters when they find a mysterious bag of white powder? Well, lets just say LOTS of OOCness. But VERY funny. Co-written with hardcoredork. One-shot.


A/N: this was co-written with hardcoredork. sorry for the OOCness, but we were having so much fun writing this. its good for a laugh.

Kagome groaned as she hoisted her overstuffed backpack over the top of the well. She flopped down onto the grass and leaned against the well when she was attacked by a flying mass of fur. "Kagome!" Shippo shouted joyfully. "Do you have anything for me?" he added. Kagome rummaged through her back pack when Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku came into the clearing. They all greeted each other and Kagome pulled out a clear plastic bag full of white powder.

"Hmmm, I wonder what this is..." she muttered aloud. Inuyasha plugged his nose and suddenly got an insane grin on his face. Confused, Kagome leaned forward and sniffed at it. She too grinned manically. She stood up and started slow dancing with Inuyasha, singing "Kookaburra". The remaining three all wore extremely puzzled expressions and leaned in to smell the powder. Almost at the same time they all straightened up and started singing "Ring around the Rosey" and prancing around the bag. Kagome had released Inuyasha and looked down at herself. "_A sluty skirt? Why do I wear this?" _ She thought.Kagome pulled at her shirt critically. "_AND a sailor top? Am I a slut sailor?" _she wondered. Kagome suddenly shouted out, "SLUT SAILOR! I'M A SLUT SAILOR!" joyously and started running around repeating this phrase with content and more and more enthusiasm each time.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha had spotted his ears. He was tugging at them and laughing gaily. "Doggie! Doggie! Doggie ears!" he mumbled, still fascinated. Miles off, a full dog demon had hears Kagome's cries of "slut sailor!" and decided to investigate.

Sesshomaru, lord of the western lands, landed in the clearing of  
the Bone-Eater's Well and blinked. His disgusting mutt of a  
half-bother was tugging on his ears and giggling, "Heehee, doggie!"  
The weird girl that looked like that sadly-reincarnated Ho-bag of a  
priestess, was jogging around the clearing swishing her skirt, yelling, "Slut-sailor Slut-sailor Slut-sailor Slut-sailor!" the monk with the freaky hand was dissolved in tears and wailing, "I'm a horrible hentai baka, please kill me someone!" while the taijiya was staring at her pink kimono in disgust, "Pink! What the freak is wrong with me!"

Beside the well was a small bag of white powder. An intoxicating  
odor was wafting from it and suddenly something felt very, very wrong  
with Sesshomaru's face. Feeling the shape of it with his hands he fell  
to his knees stating soberly, "The world is ending, for I, Sesshomaru  
am smiling." With a sudden gust of wind a woman in a blue and white kimono landed, "Sesshomaru, I have found you! You betrayed me to Naraku and for that you must die! Dance of Blades!"  
Sesshomaru dodged the blades and landed beside her, "Yes a dance!  
Dance with me my dear, dance!" And with that he began whirling her  
across the clearing, she seemed about to protest but she shut her  
mouth as the approached the bag. Suddenly she was smiling too; she  
whipped out her fan and made it so the winds howled throughout the trees with an unearthly melody. "Oh, fluffer-chan, you're a marvelous dancer;" she beamed up at him. "Why thank you my dear, hang on, Fluffer? I rather prefer Fluffy." "Then fluffy you shall be my fluffy love."

In the near by mountains a wolf-demon sensed the happiness of his one true love. Realizing Inuyasha was involved he rushed to the scene to steal her away from the evil mutt-face.

"Lord Sesshomaru? LORD SESSHOMARU!" Rin called out. She was beginning to get worried, for he had been gone a long time. She stumbled along and fell face down into the grass by Sesshomaru's feet. He spotted her and handed the white powder bag. "It smells goooood..." he muttered. Rin curiously leaned in and took a sniff. A beautiful idea popped into her head as she grinned widely. "Jaken!" she called, "Jaken, come here I want to show you something!"

Sesshomaru had turned to face the scene of the joyous crack victims. Shippo, who had just been called a girl by Miroku, had the bow out of his hair and was screaming, "I'm a GUY! Really, I'll PROVE it to you!" and started to part with his pants. Miroku was lovingly embracing Sango, who was in the process of turning Miroku's face red, via slap. Kagome, who had changed into pants and a normal shirt, was running after Inuyasha, shouting, "Come on! You gotta share! I wanna touch em!" Inuyasha, hands over his ears, was running and called back, "No! They're MINE!" Kagura, who had spied her image in the lake was making the wind blow so her hair fanned out behind her, and making faces at her reflection. Sesshomaru, the ever so social Sesshomaru, felt left out. He hung his head and found a fuzzy thing on his shoulder. He tugged at it and realized that it was attached to him. He grinned, started swinging his tail around in the air, prancing around, and yelling, "YEEE HAW!"

Meanwhile, Rin had found Jaken. She had to threaten him with a knife, but she managed to stuff him into one of her spare kimonos. The one with little pink flowers on a background of softer pink. Not only was Jaken beautifully dressed, but he had a garland of yellow flowers in his hair... which was grass. Rin smiled joyously and handed the bag of powder to him. He sniffed at it and (A/N: Do I really have to say that a rare grin flicked across his face, but was soon replaced by a frown? O well I just did.) "I NEED shoes!" he protested, "No outfit is complete without SHOES!" Rin looked down at her own shoeless feet and frowned. "Let's go ask Kagome for hers!" she suggested and grabbed Jaken's hand while the two of them skipped off to find Kagome.

A whirlwind approached the merry, and very, very high, little group. By now Kagome and Inuyasha were playing with Jaken and Rin. Kagome was chasing Inuyasha with a stick and yelling for the Conte duke to submit to her sword. Inuyasha was screaming like a girl and running in circles. Sango had grabbed Kagome's uniform and was dancing to "Naughty Girl" (they found a portable stereo in the pack) and Miroku was cowered in a corner , rocking back and forth, cursing Sango for making his whole "I-must-not-grope" philosophy very, very difficult. Shippo had managed to find punk bracelets, bondage pants and black eyeliner was shooting the stereo very nasty looks for daring to play pop in his vicinity.

Kouga was confused. Suddenly he caught a delicious scent, wafting on the summer breeze. He smiled happily, eyes half-closed. Wandering over the lake, avoiding looking at Kagura and Sesshomaru who had resumed waltzing but had deemed that grinding was more appropriate for "Naughty Girl" than waltzing, the sight nauseated Kouga. He gasped in shock at his reflection. He frantically tore the furry legwarmers from his very bodacious and might I add well-muscled legs, and grabbed the scissors from Shippo who was trying to carve "Slayer" into his arm and hacked at his hair. Running past Shippo who was running toward the bandages he grabbed the gel and worked his hair into spikes than died it a brilliant green. The arm bands were also disposed of. Looking around satisfied his sight caught upon Sango. He seized her in his arm and started dancing with her to Orgy's 'Platinum". He was startled to find the taijiya in his arms and not is favorite reincarnated priestess but Sango was good dancer so he went with it, dancing to the beat.

As our favorite demonic characters continue their happy high-time, a mud woman surrounded by soul collectors, decided to check up on her beloved hanyou.

"NO SHES MINE!" A mud covered Inuyasha insisted, lobbing a large chunk of mud at Kouga.

"MINE!" Kouga argued and returned fire. He, was upset, his new look was ruined! He was covered in MUD! Not only that, but his beloved Kagome was also covered in mud that didn't hit its target AND she was being claimed by the stupid mutt-face!

"Guys! GUYS!" Kagome tried to break up the fight, but to no avail. She shrugged, bent down, and scooped up some mud. "_If you can't beat em, join em!_" She thought, releasing the mud in Kouga's direction.

Rin, sweet innocent Rin, was lying on the ground sleeping. Playing tag with Jaken-Chan was harder than she thought it would be. Jaken had already collapsed from exhaustion and was lying under a tree, dreaming of shoes.

Our more colorful pair, Sesshomaru, or _Fluffy-Chan_,and Kagura were flying over the country side, looking for some food, they wanted a feast.

"Inuyasha?" Kikyo was very surprised when she saw the scene. He was laughing blissfully, chucking mud at Kagome and Kouga, who were doing the same. Kagome walked up to Kikyo.

"Bitch," she plainly put, pointing at Kikyo.

"Why you little..." Kikyo started, but stopped at the sight of the little bag of white powder. Confused, she took it from Kagome and looked at it. She leaned down to sniff it when Shippo (with his _new_ look) snatched the bag out of her hands.

"MINE!" he said, refusing to give it back to her. Only after a lot of coaxing from Kagome did Shippo give the bag to Kikyo. Kikyo, being a smart person, suspected that everyone's strange behavior was somehow linked to the bag, so naturally... no wait, she was stupid and took a sniff. Kikyo suddenly grabbed Shippo's hand and skipped off to climb some trees, when a large clump of mud hit her in the side of the head. She turned to find Fluffy _ehm _Sesshomaru, with mud dripping from his hands, evidently back from his search for food with Kagura. In less than 3 seconds the air was a blur of mud flying from every direction. Everyone was giggling insanely, (even Sesshy) when suddenly; Sesshomaru turned towards Kagura and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

Miles off in a dark secluded castle, Naraku sat bolt upright, waking from his dream coated in sweat. He panted and muttered aloud, "It was just a dream, just a dream."

"What's the matter honey-poo?" asked a simpering voice from is left. Naraku half-turned, still shuddering. He felt a long-nailed finger tease its way down his chest and, to his supreme horror, found himself lying in bed, naked, with none other than the illustrious Jakotsu.


End file.
